A million words in 2016 (March)

I'm writing a million words in 2016!

Below is the progress diary for March (I'll be updating it as the month goes on).

If you're interested, here's the intro and here are the diaries for January and February.

The red number in the right-hand column is the total word count. Please wish me luck in watching that number tick up to 1,000,000 over the rest of the year!

The Million-Word Diary: March

1st March	356,517
I'm doing a new writing class at the moment. In it, we're reading a story by Jonathan Buckley called "Briar Road" which won the 2015 BBC national short story award. The full text is available via this link. It's a beautiful story, and dissecting it in a writing class is a brilliant idea because the it's a masterpiece of subtle, clever storytelling. There are no explosions or screaming matches - it's just beautiful prose all the way through. Don't read it quickly. Take it slow. In this quote, the narrator is observing a family. It's a great example of Buckley telling us soooo much in just a few words: No love is left between these parents, but the situation is an ordinary one. Many children come through such things uninjured. Mine did. ... that tiny little "Mine did" on the end tells us: The narrator has kids The narrator fell out of love with her partner (and they presumably split) The kids were left relatively unscathed by the split (...and probably several other things that I'm too sleepy to think of right now) That's an amazing amount of back-story to tell the reader in just two words. I'm sure few authors would allow it, but I would love to see their first drafts (so I could compare them to the finished piece). It'd be such an education! The editing process is still quite a mystery :-( Is it possible to take the messy first drafts that I'm currently writing and turn them into quality stories like "Briar Road"? I hope so... Anyway, the class was good fun and I feel like I have a lot more insight into the story now. I'm hoping this'll help me improve my own writing. Fingers crossed! All the late nights have finally caught up with me. I was meant to go to a writing group this evening but fell asleep! I got home from my morning writing class at midday, put my head down for a moment, and didn't wake up until 7 PM. I should probably learn a lesson from this, but no - here I am at 3 AM typing this blog. It's official... I have no common sense. Today's word count was 6,273 which brings the total to 356,517.
2nd March	362,187
I mentioned to a friend today that I was terrified I'd never be able to edit all these words into something worth reading. He made me laugh with this reply: I'm not going to mention monkeys with typewriters and infinity, but I'll bet there's already some good stuff there! So there you go... the image of "monkeys with typewriters" just gave me reassurance :-) Word count today was 5,670 so the total's now 362,187.
3rd March	370,913
Aargh! So many writing classes!  I like them. I really do. But if you do lots of writing classes in a row then you need to take in a different piece for each. You can take the same piece to each one, but there's no point because it's unlikely you'll hear anything different from one class to the next. After all, writers' groups are writers' groups - they're full of writers telling you to trim your adverbs, delete the first chapter, and to "show don't tell". I "tell" far more than I should. Bad me. I had nothing new (nothing that I was prepared to show, anyway) so decided to be brave and take in a chunk that was written for NaNoWriMo 2015. My poor NaNo manuscript has been languishing, unedited, in the dark depths of my hard drive - it was about time part of it got dragged out to stand blinking, naked and terrified in the sun. But there was a problem. It was all in "messy first draft" form, and it was hard work to find a complete scene to fit the word limit (in most writing groups that I attend, there's only really time to show 1,000 words max). Things went well though - I had plenty of good feedback and now feel a lot more confident about editing the rest! I have to admit... it's kinda exciting to get good feedback about a piece that hasn't been edited. It gives me hope that the editing process won't be as bad as I think. It was a really fun group tonight. Everyone was positive and very friendly. It's a great class! We had quite a variety of subjects: invisible stalkers, psycho burglars wearing veils, a bunch of druggies in a van, Greek carpenters, mysterious gadgets, and a fun piece about a severed head which cracks me up every time I read it :-) And somewhere in amongst the writing groups, I managed to get a bit more typing done as well! Today's word count was 8,726 which gives me a total of 370,913.
5th March	397,792
I've been re-reading my NaNoWriMo story and it's not as bad as I thought. The "psycho inner voice" character is quite comic (as well as being psycho) and the "crazy girlfriend" character seems fittingly scary. It's proving tricky to edit, though. The most worrying part is that I've peppered it with a bunch of freaky sex scenes. The scenes work with the story (the girlfriend uses sex as a weapon) but I've never written sexy scenes before, so I've no idea if they're good, bad, or just plain awful. And here's the thing... no way am I brave enough to take a naughty scene to a writing group. Just no. Can't do it. It was bad enough the other week when I wrote that short story that squicked everyone out. I may never live that down! Word counts for 4th and 5th of March were 9,824 and 17,055 so the total's now 397,792. That ain't half bad for a guy going through a divorce and a house sale while also trying to deal with a weird health condition. Am soooo close to the next big milestone. 400k, I'm coming to get ya!
8th March	422,589
What is it with staying up all night?! During those few times in life ("now" is one of those times) when I've been lucky enough not to be slave to a morning alarm, my body clock has adjusted to exactly the same routine: 9 PM - Wide awake, with creativity cranked up to 11/10. (Yes, it goes up to 11.) 4 AM - Okay, now I'm dead. See how dead I am? But I'm still typing, so there. 5 AM - All right, Body, you win. Time to sleep. 8 AM - Zombie Mark staggers around thinking this is waaaay to early to wake after a 5 AM bedtime. 9 AM - Brain is slowly waking up now. The day can begin. 2 PM - Sudden energy crash, regardless of what I've been doing/eating. This is the afternoon slump taken to a crazy extreme; it's like a black hood suddenly being pulled over my head. Sleep is usually non-negotiable. 5 PM - Wake up and stagger around like a zombie again. 9 PM - Brain comes back to life, and the cycle begins once more! Write write write till 4 AM. Does that sound a bit insane? Yeah, I guess it does. But this routine appears to be what Body wants to do, so maybe it's for the best. The "black hood" thing probably sounds a bit alarming but it's been happening to me daily for years (and was far worse when I was on "normal" working hours). I think it's an ME/CFS thing (I mentioned it on a "how to cope with M.E." course once, and several people said they'd experienced the same symptom). Anyway, despite the crazy sleeping hours, the words are still spilling from brain to page. I've got four novels so far, although admittedly they're all in "first draft" form (i.e. worth nothing without editing). Word counts for 6-8 March were 18,169, 3,952 and 2,676, which brings the total to 422,589. Can't believe the midpoint is now in sight. This "million words" thing might actually be achievable!
12th March	436,715
Here's the Mumbletoes Guide to Starting New Projects: Have good idea Start project Work like crazy Hit a "blip" (Translation: a minor obstacle that interrupts the work) Never do any work on that project ever, ever again Blips are a huge problem. I find a workflow break can completely destroy motivation... and I don't think I'm alone in this: people start stuff all the time and then - after just a few months - drop it forever. That's just being human, isn't it? For example, look at how Joe AveragePerson uses the gym: at the start he's full of enthusiasm and goes three times a week, but then a blip causes him to skip a couple of sessions. Maybe he tries to go back, but the momentum is gone. It's harder now. He forgets more and more often. And suddenly he realises it's six months later and he's turned into a potato made of cream cheese. Analogy over. Anyway, so here I am, nearly halfway into the "million words" project, and I've hit a blip. Noooo! Admittedly there are all manner of crazy things happening at the moment (not least that I'm losing my home) but I still can't help worrying that this is the end of the project. Okay, that sounds fatalistic, but I know what I'm like... my motivation has always been dependent on that surge of enthusiasm at the start, and my track record shows that as soon as I stop, I really do stop. Let's find a bright side. (Thinks, thinks, thinks...) Ah yes - the current word count is awesome! In all honesty, the blip was expected much sooner than this; I'm kinda proud I've kept this project going for so long. So come on, Brain... stop acting grumpy and give me some more words. Please? Tonight's entertainment was a fun poetry event. Hilda's Lounge is now officially open for business! At the launch event, we were all invited to: Sit on the 70s sofa (I did) Wear 70s clothing (I didn't) Eat cheese and pineapple on sticks (I did. Twice!) Drink Babycham (I didn't, but only because I was driving) Read a poem (I did that too. Twice!) Word counts for 9-12 March were 3,958, 2,113, 1,958 and 6,097 so the total is now 436,715. Hmm... that actually doesn't sound too bad. Okay, now I feel dumb... after all that moaning about blips, maybe I'm not having a blip at all. But it really does feel like a blip! Writing has been a crazy struggle these past few days. Aargh. Confused now! I'm going to cry under a chair for a while. Please send chocolate.
18th March	460,700
The blip continues! Noooooo! (again) The words are still happening but it really is blood from a stone at the moment. Bah! :-( Look at my poor graph! (below) The red line is the "par" line (i.e. it shows the 2,733 words per day required to hit 1,000,000 words by the end of the year) and the blue line is my daily word count. It's great to be so far ahead, but look how the line has levelled at the end! Help! Since 7 March, it's flattened out! And that red "par" line does not hang around! It chases me! Seriously... skip a few days of writing and it shoots towards the blue line faster than rocket monkeys. My poor graph :-( Highlighting the issue, just in case it wasn't obvious! Anyway, I have to be kind to myself. I've just been through a very nasty divorce and have also lost my home. The fact that I haven't killed anyone yet is actually kind of impressive! Word counts for 13-18 March were 4,821, 7,019, 3,444, 3,091, 1,946 and 3,664. The total's now 460,700. (PS No, I don't know what rocket monkeys are. But they do sound fast!)
20th March	474,528
Tonight was good fun. I was at Poetry Swindon's open mic night and the crowd was huge! Strangely, a big crowd didn't seem as scary as a small one. Why is that? I read my "Hugs are more important than potatoes" poem and it seemed to go down well. Daft poems are more popular than expected! :-) Word counts for 19-20 March were 7,457 and 6,371, which brings the total to 474,528.
23rd March	491,360
The blip is continuing but at least I'm managing to keep going. Seriously, though... arrgh... it's hard work! However, as I said before, I have to be fair on myself. I'm moving around a lot at the moment and it's hard to write steadily when you're not settled. Word counts for 21-23 March were 3,647, 5,793 and 7,392, which brings the total to 491,360. I'd hoped to reach the half-million a few days ago but that's okay - there are less than 10,000 to go before I hit the halfway mark, and that's kinda exciting :-)
27th March	513,882
Meh. This isn't fun any more.  Hitting 500k is great, but all I can do is look at this vast cache of words and stress about whether I'll ever be able to edit them into something readable. Admittedly my head's not in the game at the moment. I sold my house a week or so ago, and I'm feeling a bit lost. I'm the sort of person who needs to know where home is, and that's not possible right now. Home stopped feeling like home a couple of years ago, and now it's gone gone gone... And if I get a rented place then I'll have to go back into an I.T. job, which I'm certain will be the end of this insane dream to earn money from creative writing. Yes, I know, most writers have day jobs... but I tried to play the game that way for over 15 years and it didn't work out, which is why I'm now going all in. To me, the nine-to-five is the easy option and going back to it means I've given up on what's important. That's not living. That's just existing. I'm moving away soon to start an extended writing retreat. Until then, a friend has been kind enough to put me up. Living in someone else's home, I'm always worried I'll accidentally break something or screw something up. It's hard to relax at the moment, which might explain why the writing is currently so difficult. However, I do have the place to myself (my friend cut me a key and then went off on holiday leaving me alone to chill out in his house - how awesome is that?!) so I'm managing to find a bit of quiet time. Also, there is a cat.  Cats are a bit dull (in my humble opinion) but this particular moggy is stuffed... with personality. He comes and goes as he pleases, and is extremely particular about reserving his special spot on the bed. And when he wants attention, he has a very distinctive way of letting you know (he headbutts you until you stroke him). Crimble may be gaining a few new characteristics from this puss. I'm meant to be talking about writing, not cats. Oops. So anyway, that's the current mood: I'm feeling low, but I shouldn't be. Today I saw some friends who are always awesome at giving me writing pep talks, and I think they helped me feel better about the current situation. So let's find the bright side and shine a light on it (and mix our metaphors)... I have a big pile of first drafts and I'll definitely be able to get a few novels out of them. This monstrous pile of words is not scary - it's useful. Life's a beach and you can't build castles without sand. Word counts for 24-27 March were 4,204, 7,089, 5,917 and 5,312. Total is now 513,882.
31st March	525,237
Things are still ticking on, and now I'm exactly quarter of the way into the "million words" task. Word counts for 28-31 March were 1,895, 3,284, 4,714 and 1,462. Total is now 525,237.

This is apparently the way my brain works

(image from the wonderful hyperboleandahalf)

Flash Fiction - a guide to submissions

I've just discovered this blog post and it has all the info on flash fiction that you ever need to know!

An Extremely Helpful, Incredibly Comprehensive Guide to Flash Fiction Submissions

It explains all the weird terminology!

Ever heard of hint fiction? Or an American sentence?

And do you know your simultaneous submissions from your multiple submissions?

There's also an explanation of the Submittable site and, as a bonus, the article also lists a ton of markets and competitions :-)

A million words in 2016 (February)

I'm writing a million words in 2016!

Below is February's progress diary (I'll be updating it as the month goes on). If you're interested, here's the intro and here's the diary for January.

The red number in the right-hand column is the total word count. Please wish me luck in watching that number tick up to 1,000,000 over the rest of the year!

The Million-Word Diary: February

1st Feb	107,326
Had a manic day of typing! Nothing new written today - it was all just typing up notes from notebooks, apps, and scribbles on the back of my hand. This is all free-writing stuff that I've done in the last couple of weeks, and there's still loads more to type! My graph dipped below the par line yesterday, so I had to get this typing done today - simply for peace of mind! It's done the job. My "words done" line is once more a healthy amount above my "par" line :-) It's a small achievement but it gives me confidence. Word count for today was 24,702 which has put me over the 100k barrier. 10% of the way there, already, and only one month in! Total is now 107,326.
2nd Feb	113,593
More typing up, today! This feels like a really lazy way to get the word count done, because I'm just typing up something I've already written, and not actually writing anything new! However, all of these words were written this year so they definitely qualify for the "Million words in 2016" project. Managed a flash fiction today too. I've been attending a class called "Seeing it Through", run by one of my favourite teachers, Jill Sharp. In the class, we're talking about NaNoWriMo manuscripts, and the not-so-joyful task of editing them into something other human beings might actually want to read. Part of the class involves a quick writing prompt to get the brain working, and I ended up with a nice 150-word piece that I think I might be able to submit somewhere. (This is a good thing!) Total word count today was 6,267 so the total's now 113,593.
15th Feb	225,638
Nightmare! I've been typing like crazy and still haven't caught up!  The problem with this "million words in 2016" project is that I don't always use the laptop when I write. I've got words on scraps of paper, or scribbled in notebooks, or... well... all over the place! I've nearly managed to get them all together now, but there's still more to sort out.  I'm buried in words, I tell you! Buried! :-) Anyway, the good news is that I'm now 34 days ahead of schedule.  My word counts for 3-14 Feb were 8,389, 8,862, 5,503, 12,493 (this was a really late night!), 18,539 (this was a night with NO sleep!), 12,069 (another all-nighter!), 1,685, 3,330, 1,980, 6,756, 9,430 (what is this "sleep" thing?) and 5,766.  Does anyone care about a long list of word counts? Probably not, but it feels wrong not to record them. Today saw another 17,243 which brings the total to 225,638. The huge problem at the moment is my word count is directly proportional to how late I stay up. There have been several all-nighters, each of which leave me a wreck the next day. I recover just in time to sit up all night once more! So... I now have a big pile of half-finished flash fictions; loads of short stories; a few beginnings to some pieces that might turn out to be short stories or maybe even full-blown novels; a few more novel chapters; and a muddled collection of poetry attempts. It's all in first-draft form, and it's all a horrid mess! :-) At some point I'm hoping I'll find the time to sort all these words out... but I'm currently going through a big house-move, so I'm even less organised than usual. Feeling very positive about the writing though. I'm proving to myself that I can get loads done if I can just manage to keep the momentum going. I should mention that I had a little bit of success yesterday! A couple of friends were travelling up to Buzzwords in Cheltenham (a poetry evening). I didn't have any poems to read at the open mic so had to cobble something together as fast as possible. Feeling pressured, I used a random word generator to help me throw together some ideas. I ended up with some weird flash-fictiony-poem-thing called "More breath than necessary" (whatever that means). My friends offered to look check the piece over for me, but here's the thing: reading something aloud to an audience is actually a bigger deal to me than having a good poem. Just getting up in front of people... Christ on a bike.. it's bloody terrifying! And I knew that if my friends found issues with the piece, I wouldn't read it. So anyway, I did the open mic with an untested first draft and - luckily - got some good feedback. In fact the feedback was so good that I might try this "random word generator" technique again.
19th Feb	260,024
Stories are still pouring onto the page! This desperate rush to get words down on paper (ok, laptop) is so amazingly freeing. There's no time to stop, no time to think, no time to worry about grammar or spelling or even plot. I'm writing like mad, and all I can do is hope that when I look back there'll be something useful that I can shape into a proper story. This "million words" task has become a form of therapy. Some of my darkest memories are being used as fodder for new stories! This means some of the characters are sooooo warped, that some of them actually make me feel ill. And apparently they don't just have that effect on me. Yesterday, I took one of these stories to a writing group and had much more of a response than expected. Several people cried out in disgust at the twist! And - get this - one of the group members stared at me in disbelief for the rest of the evening. Seriously. I'm not even exaggerating. Not much anyway. It was kinda scary, but at the same time may have been the greatest feedback I've ever received. Producing a strong emotion in the reader is, after all, what a writer wants. However, I'm not sure I'm welcome in that group any more. Oops. Talking of that group, I had a lovely bit of feedback from one of its members. I knew that recently he'd read the start of one of my stories to his son (a kids' story, not one of the dark ones!) ... and apparently his son asked if any more of the story would be available after this writing group session! So that means: a 7-year-old liked the story enough to ask for more (fantastic praise!) I didn't have anything written, which means I just disappointed a kid :'-(  So now I have guilt. Lots of guilt. Word counts for 16-19 Feb were 3,247, 6,597, 14,210 and 10,332. Total word count is now 260,024. That's QUARTER OF THE WAY THERE! I can't believe how well it's going, I really can't.
22nd Feb	287,700
Sunday (21 Feb) was a fun poetry workshop. We wrote some random poetical waffle, then chopped it up and created new random poetical waffle. The idea is you cut your paper into strips so that each line is separated from the rest, then you muddle the strips up and lay them out randomly. The result is a nice mix of ideas, and it was really good fun to see how unrelated lines suddenly work together to form a new idea/sentence. It was poetry, so didn't generate a huge amount of words (only 360) but it was definitely good fun. Word counts for 20-22 Feb were 17,008, 6,893 and 3,775 so the total's now 287,700.
25th Feb	300,211
These late nights have to stop. It's not healthy! But at the same time... it's going soooo well!  I had to write a poem very quickly a couple of weeks ago. I still don't quite understand this poeting lark, and so of course at the time I panicked at the idea of writing one quickly. Surely it would come out as some god-awful trite thing about moonbeams and stardust? It probably would have, but instead I came up with a new method of writing poems. I used a random word generator to help me produce poet-ish-sounding-lines, and to generate ideas. It really works! Since then I've tried a second poem using this method and it really does help produce something that sounds like it could eventually be a poem! I took both these poems to the Lower Shaw Farm workshop tonight and everyone was wonderfully confused (in a good way), especially by an obscure reference to "wooden circles" striking someone's forehead. I decided not to explain (mainly because I didn't really understand it myself) but it was a great workshop because I discovered the poem did actually have a meaning linked to something very important in my life at the moment. Is that normal? Can you write a poem and then have someone else tell you what it means? That's certainly what happened in this case. Kinda confusing, but kinda wonderful all at the same time :-) Word counts for 23-25 Feb were 1,326, 3,837 and 7,348... and so my total just passed the 300k barrier! I'm now on 300,211 words... woohoo! :-)
29th Feb	350,244
Now that I'm doing multiple projects, I'm finding that counting words is proving to be quite an effort. Sometimes I just ignore the smaller pieces - especially now that I'm currently doing well and am ahead of par. Is that bad? It feels bad. I'm probably going to regret this later. I've not written anything new for a while but the typing-up is going well. Word counts for 26-29 Feb were 2,337, 23,562, 9,711 and 14,423. Total is now 350,244. That puts me about two months ahead (estimated finish date is now Halloween!) and I'm officially one third of the way through my million words. Is it time for a happy dance? Yes. It's time for a happy dance.

Writing groups in Swindon

Please note, this post is now VERY out of date!
For a current list, check out: the monthly ArtsWords Newsletter

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I love hanging around with writers, and attend as many writing groups as possible. Recently a few people have asked me to list what's available, so here goes!

The famous blue gate of the Richard Jefferies Museum

Mulberry Arts at Richard Jefferies

The Richard Jefferies Museum is great! It hosts LOADS of writing groups! (And, as a bonus, if you're there late in the evening then the ghost might bang on the floorboards.) Details of their writing courses/groups are here. Some of the courses have already started so it might be best to write and query before paying to reserve a place.

It can be a challenge to find the museum so allow plenty of time for the hunt! Your best bet is to park at the Sun Inn (next to Coate Water). Then walk up the main road towards the Great Western Hospital, until you pass a blue gate (see pic above) set in the wall on your right. The next entrance on the right (a sort of gravelly driveway) is the museum.

Poetry Swindon Open Mic

Poetry Swindon used to be known as BlueGate Poets (because, again, they have strong links to the Richard Jefferies museum - see the 'blue gate' pic above!). Their "open mic" night is very friendly. You can bring a poem or short creative piece to read for your 5 minute slot... or you can just sit and listen to clever people reading clever words! Poetry Swindon also host many workshops throughout the year. See their events page for details.

Writers' Kitchen at Lower Shaw Farm

Also known as the Writers' Café, this informal gathering happens at Lower Shaw Farm on the last Thursday of every month. The next one's on 25 Feb 2016. Email Matt Holland if you want more info (follow this link to get the email address and full details of the group) or just turn up on the night. There's no need to book. You can bring something to read aloud (aim for a maximum of about 1,000 words) or just sit and enjoy listening to everyone else. the size of the group varies from month to month. If the group is small enough then feel free to ask for crit/feedback on your work. Cost is £2.

Swindon Genre Writers 

An informal gathering every couple of weeks upstairs at MacKenzies in Old Town. Details are here and if that link's not working then join the facebook group to get all the info. We usually bring a piece of work for crit/feedback but don't feel obliged - you're welcome to just join us for a beer!

Swindon Free Writers

I haven't actually managed to attend any meetings with these guys, so please check their site for details. They're a fun group who I believe tend to meet purely to chat rather than swap crit/feedback. There might be a few fun writing exercises as well. Come and vent your editing frustrations over a coffee!

Eastcott Writers

A group of novelists and poets, meeting for writing exercises as well as crit/feedback. They have a facebook group which gives all the details, and the group is also used to share work and feedback/comments. The meeting takes place on the first Tuesday of the month, at Savernake Street Community Hall. Bring a short prose piece (up to 1k words), or a poem. Cost is £2.

New College, Swindon

New College runs several writing courses as evening classes. Log on to their site, look for "part-time study" and then search for "creative writing". If their site hasn't changed, then this link should hopefully do all that for you. I'd recommend the "Creative Writing for Beginners" class to everyone, whether you think you need it or not! It's currently run by Hilda Sheehan (one of the "Five British poets to watch in 2016"!) who is a master at introducing you to new worlds of artistic writing. She'll change the way you write for the better!

Mum's the Word

You need to be a mum to attend this group, and I don't have the necessary qualifications. It happens at the same venue as the Writers' Kitchen (see above). Details are here.