Saturday, 17 November 2012

Page 58: Love

Here's a very random little piece that I might one day turn into a parody of Fifty Shades of Grey. Alternatively it could just be left to languish on my hard drive for all eternity.

PS Please be warned that some might find this a bit risqué!


"I'm not sure I'm ready for this." Peter stood in the middle of the room, stark naked, his hands firmly tied behind his back.

Angela watched him, trying to hide her smile. "Stop whining and kneel, slave," she said.

Peter obeyed.

Angela flipped over to the next page of 'Bondage for Beginners'. "It says here you're meant to fawn at my feet."


Angela stretched her legs out and wriggled her toes. "Here they are. Get fawning."

"How am I meant to take this seriously if you say things like that?"

"You're not allowed to do anything apart from what I tell you to do," Angela said, holding up the book. "Here, listen to this: 'The slave must never query the commands of the mistress.'"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Now that's more like it. Okay, it's fawning time."

Peter shuffled across the floor. He pressed his nose against the sole of her foot, gave her a wide-eyed innocent look, and then sucked fiercely on one of her big toes.

Angela squealed and kicked out at him. "No, silly, that's not until page ten."

"Sorry, Mistress."

"We're only on page five. You don't get to suck my toes until you've sworn to obey my every command."

"I apologise, oh glorious Mistress."

Angela sat up and dropped the book onto her bedside table. "I'm not sure this is going to work."

Peter leant back on his heels and looked up at her. "Bored already?"

"I just don't think I can play the dominant mistress. It doesn't feel right. At the back of my mind I'm still worrying about what I need to pick up at the supermarket."

"Fair enough. Does that mean you'll be untying me?"

"I guess so. Cup of tea?"

"That'd be grand, cheers." Peter waited patiently while Angela freed his hands and then turned to look directly into the lens of the video camera. "Well, that was only our first attempt," he said. "We'll try something different next time."


Carrie pointed the remote control at the TV screen, pressed the pause button and turned to the class. "Or so he said," she continued. "In actual fact Peter and Angela have never since tried anything new, and that film was taken over a year ago. So what do we think about that? Anyone?"

She stared out at the sea of blank faces. "Jenny, how about you?"

Jenny's head jerked upwards, startled to have been called upon to answer. She could feel the eyes of her classmates burning into her back and her face flamed crimson.

"What was the question, Miss?"

Carrie sighed. Sex education was never an easy class to teach, especially since the curriculum now demanded they show these bizarre training videos. "Do you have any comment on the fact that Peter and Angela never managed to get past page five of 'Bondage for Beginners'?"

"Er, not really Miss."

"Just anything Jenny, anything you want to say? A single statement, a single word even? Just something to record as commentary given by a member of my class?"

"They were happy as they were?"

Carrie clapped her hands. "Good, Jenny, good. Excellent answer. Write this down, everybody: Peter and Angela were happy as they were. They didn't need the book. Kurt, stop snickering or I'll make you come sit at the front. Okay class, take out your textbooks and turn to page fifty-eight. Today we're going to talk about love."

"Love, Miss?"

"Yes, Jenny, love. It's not talked about very often these days but today we're going to discuss it in depth."

'50 shades of hay' by Rubes