Saturday, 9 January 2010

The birthday warning

Here's a silly poem written for a pal's birthday card many, many, many years ago...

Today's your 18th birthday
A very special day!
I wish you all the very best,
But first I have to say

That here's a birthday warning
A caution you must heed!
This lecture may sound boring,
But I really feel the need

To tell you, first and foremost,
About the demon drink
It sugars-up the brain machine
It muddles how you think

Your mind feels light and happy
But your thoughts are in a mess
You might attempt to do a back-flip
With no chance of success

Sober the next morning,
You stagger out of bed
It feels like someone took a brick
And dropped it on your head

You lurch towards the mirror
And stare in utter shock
Your hair's a mess, your eyes are red
Your nose has run amok

Your stomach feels so queasy
And there's a cut upon your chin
Your room's a mess and, worst of all,
You've thrown up in your bin

And so, for all these reasons
I beg you to beware
Have lots of fun, and party hard
But for goodness sake, take care!