Here's a silly poem written for a pal's birthday card many, many, many years ago...
Today's your 18th birthday
A very special day!
I wish you all the very best,
But first I have to say
That here's a birthday warning
A caution you must heed!
This lecture may sound boring,
But I really feel the need
To tell you, first and foremost,
About the demon drink
It sugars-up the brain machine
It muddles how you think
Your mind feels light and happy
But your thoughts are in a mess
You might attempt to do a back-flip
With no chance of success
Sober the next morning,
You stagger out of bed
It feels like someone took a brick
And dropped it on your head
You lurch towards the mirror
And stare in utter shock
Your hair's a mess, your eyes are red
Your nose has run amok
Your stomach feels so queasy
And there's a cut upon your chin
Your room's a mess and, worst of all,
You've thrown up in your bin
And so, for all these reasons
I beg you to beware
Have lots of fun, and party hard
But for goodness sake, take care!